Below is an excerpt from my memoir Words Will Never Hurt Me: Overcoming Childhood Memories of Domestic Violence.
"My father died at 1:40 am today. No, actually, he died two days ago when he passed out on a South Carolina side walk. I’m told the paramedics worked on him for 15 minutes bringing him back to life only to be put on a ventilator for 36 hrs before I received that call in the middle of the night telling me he was gone. But he was already gone. Hours before, days before, decades before. For many years I planned to publish a sort of tell all after he died, cloaked in a self help book for survivors of domestic violence of course. But in the hours after I received that call, the most amazing thing happened: The love of my heavenly Father flooded my soul until the truth stood out like a sore thumb: My father was not a perfect father, but I wasn’t a perfect daughter either (to him or to God)."
"The next time I looked up, Father's Day was approaching. Unexpectedly, each time I saw a glowing social media tribute to a deceased father, a wave of emotions I couldn’t understand would flood over me. But again, God sent revelation to me, this time through a song called "Good, Good Father" by Chris Tomlin. The line that hit me like a ton of bricks is “And I’m loved by you, that’s who I am, that’s who I am.” For so long I allowed my childhood to define me as “the child of an abuser and the child of the abused.” But the song referenced above made me realize that my identity lies in the fact that I am loved by God. And the truth is that I both loved and resented my father. But that day I decided to let it all go. The final step in the forgiveness I thought I had already given him. I’ll miss our calls, his jokes, and his visits. But I won’t miss the bad memories. Because I’ve decided to let them die with him."
Have you been betrayed, lied to, cheated on, abused, belittled, offended or worse? If so, your healing, deliverance, and breakthrough are moments away. I'm going to let you in on a little secret: it's the most valuable lesson I learned about forgiveness. It's not a feeling. And it's not based on whether or not you ever receive an apology. Forgiveness is a choice. Nothing more, nothing less. It's making the decision to stop the angry, resentful, vengeful feelings, thoughts and actions towards the person(s) who have cause you harm.
There is no time like the present to forgive and there is no one who deserves forgiveness more than you. Yes, you. You deserve the peace and the freedom that comes when you forgive those who have hurt or offended you.
And in exchange for that you are guaranteed forgiveness from God for your own offenses towards Him.
Poetricia Publishing © 2018
Click HERE to order a copy of Words Will Never Hurt Me.
Click HERE to listen to Good, Good Father by Chris Tomlin and HERE to find out more about his ministry and music.
If you are being abused call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (7233) or (800) 787-3224 (TTY).